


Merry Kissmas

by all_new_wolverine



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Blow Jobs, Christmas, First Time, Light Dom/sub, Love Confessions, M/M, POV James T. Kirk, POV Spock (Star Trek), Sharing Fantasies, Spock is easily overwhelmed, Vulcan Kisses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:40:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22245727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/all_new_wolverine/pseuds/all_new_wolverine
Summary: When he's bumped during the Christmas party, Kirk accidentally grabs Spock's hand. Spock, instead of recoiling, takes immense pleasure from it. Later, Kirk questions Spock in his quarters. Things are revealed. Spock has trouble understanding what Kirk sees in him. Kirk makes sure he understands... etc. Some shenanigans ensue in this chapter, but more will happen in chapter 2!
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock
Comments: 49
Kudos: 430
Collections: Star Trek Fics





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first Star Trek fic! I hope you like it. God knows I love these two way too much.

Spock couldn’t look away from Kirk’s Christmas sweater. It was an old Earth tradition he had learned, to wear aesthetically unpleasing garments, and rate each other on who had the “worst”—which, oxymoronically, actually meant the best. But Kirk… Kirk’s sweater was—Spock believed he was using the correct descriptor—cute. And more importantly his captain looked cute wearing it. Having rarely seen the man in anything out of regulation uniform, to see the marvelous human in something so unseemly was disarming to say the least. But most distracting were the words written on the garment. In a play on words, the creator of the sweater had replaced Merry Christmas” with “Merry Kissmas.”

This shouldn’t have been a problem, except that Spock had been thinking about kissing his captain more than usual recently. Far more than he should have. Usually, he was able to suppress the thoughts, having a mission or research project to focus on, and nothing to provoke thoughts of kissing besides Kirk himself. But now, with the word etched out in thread before him… he couldn’t stop thinking of stretching out his hand to the man in front of him. What would it feel like, Kirk’s fingers on his own, gently caressing his own digits? He shivered at the thought.

Kirk didn’t miss the slight movement and raised his eyebrow at this first officer. “Everything alright, Spock?”

Kirk had stuck by his side throughout the evening, knowing that Spock was still unfamiliar and uncomfortable with Terran culture. Usually his presence was most welcome, but this evening it was quite distracting. “I am adequate captain. If you would prefer to mingle with the other guests, you are free to do so.” _Please_ do so, he begged internally. _Please_ take this distraction away from me.

“Nonsense! There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

Kirk’s smile was warm, and it touched Spock’s heart in a distinctly un-Vulcan way. He tried to find something else to say when Scotty, highly inebriated, crashed into Kirk, singing some kind of tune. Falling off-balance, Kirk flailed wildly, looking for purchase somewhere, and found Spock’s hand. His captain had always been nothing but respectful regarding Spock’s physical boundaries— _sometimes too respectful,_ a voice inside him chimed in—so he was sure this was an accident. That did not stop him from automatically curling his own fingers around Kirk’s. It was an instinct impossible to resist.

Kirk’s other hand came to land heavily on Spock’s chest, the rest of his body following, as he let out an _oof_ at the impact. Spock remained frozen, aware of everywhere Kirk’s body was in contact with his own. Vulcan’s did not generally seek out or enjoy physical touch, but when it was with someone they were deeply emotionally and physically attracted to, it was an unbelievably pleasurable sensory experience. Spock had only heard that this was the case but, not having that type of bond with anyone before, had not experienced it himself until that moment. His breath hitched and he had trouble swallowing. He did not even realize Kirk was pulling away until the other man was fully detached from his body. He immediately missed the closeness and warmth, and found himself inadvertently leaning forward, his body chasing Kirk of its own accord.

He caught himself just in time, taking just the slightest step forward. Kirk looked him up and down, taking in his slightly green-flushed cheeks and parted mouth, before he turned to his mechanic.

“Scotty. Are you alright?”

“Sure, cap’n. Never – _hic_ – better. Why d’ya ask?”

“Oh, no reason my friend,” Kirk said, clapping him on the back. Why don’t we go ahead and find you some water?” Kirk wandered off with the engineer, sneaking a smile back at Spock, which slipped into in look of confusion when Spock wouldn’t meet his eye.

Eager to be alone, Spock excused himself from the party shortly thereafter. He seated himself in his meditation corner and directed his attention toward the matter at hand. He had just taken advantage of his captain, his closest friend. Jim had always been careful never to touch him in such a way, and the one time he did, Spock captured the man’s hand in his own, deriving exquisite pleasure from the touch. If that were not shameful enough, it appeared that Kirk knew something unusual had happened. His feelings were at risk of becoming known. Further, now that he knew what it was like to touch Jim in such a way, he was not certain he could restrain himself as completely as he had been doing. Horror settled over him.

A knock at the door slowly drew Spock from his meditative state. Giving himself a moment to acclimate mentally, he called for the person to enter.

It was Jim. He was still dressed in the “Merry Kissmas” sweater, looking slightly more flushed than he had earlier.

“Captain,” Spock said, starting to rise, but Kirk waved him down. He crossed to room to sit in front of Spock. “Were you able to assist Mr. Scott?”

“Scotty? Oh. Yes, yes. He’s fine.”

“I see.” Spock shifted, bringing his hands together in the center of his lap. Kirk was looking at him closely. He hoped none of what he’d been meditating on showed on his face. “May I enquire as to why you are here, Captain?”

“Jim. We’re off-duty.” He smiled impishly up at Spock, who kept his face neutral. Jim sighed, rubbing his hands together, and studying the motion. Spock’s eyes were drawn to his ministrations as well, his mouth parting slightly as he watched Jim’s fingers rub against each other. Just a hint of green colored his cheeks, and he drew his eyes away from Jim’s hands—only to find that Jim’s gaze now lay on him.

“Spock, I. Forgive me if I am out of line, but if I am correct… well the possibility that I might be means that I have to ask. Earlier this evening, when I— when Scotty—” Kirk cleared his throat. “I accidentally grabbed your hand when I fell.”

Spock glanced down at his own hands. He had a suspicion as to where this conversation was going and he did not like it.

Kirk’s voice softened. “I don’t really know how to have this conversation. I know Vulcans are very private about their, uh, mating habits, but I’ve done a little bit of research. For the sake of cultural fluency. I could be way out of line or misinterpreting the information, but… touching hands is a kind of kiss for Vulcans, isn’t it?”

Spock could barely breathe. He inclined his head the slightest amount, acknowledging the truth of the captain’s statement.

“So. I just wanted to apologize for accidentally crossing that line. I never want to make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe around me.”

“Unsafe?” At that, Spock had to look up. How could this man believe he’d ever made Spock feel unsafe? “You have never made me feel unsafe, Jim. There is no one I trust more than you.”

“That’s…” Kirk cleared his throat, looking anywhere but at Spock. “…well. That’s very good to hear, I’m glad. Very glad.” They lapsed into silence for a few moments. Spock marveled at Kirk’s ability to wildly underestimate himself, especially in affairs related to emotions. For a moment, he entertained the idea of leaning over to his captain and whispering all the wonderful things about him into his ear, listening to his breathing and heartrate accelerate, as Spock dipped his lips to his captain’s neck. His lips parted and a small breath escaped. Kirk’s eyes flew up to his. Spock took a steadying breath.

“Was there anything else you wished to speak with me about, captain?”

Kirk glanced away again, one hand rubbing the back of his neck. “No, I…” he swallowed, cheeks turning red. He seemed to be debating something. Dropping his hands into his lap, he came to a decision. “Well. Yes. There is.” He took a deep breath, let it out, swallowed. “When I accidentally grabbed your hand, you didn’t take yours back right away. I… was very surprised by that. It seemed like.” Kirk swallowed. “It seemed like you were okay with it.”

Shame burned on Spock’s cheeks, turning them a dark green.

“I know that can’t be right, but I needed to mention it, because if it’s true, I—”

“I fear I took advantage of you, Jim,” Spock blurted. Jim’s eyes snapped up to his face. “I am sorry. I know you have always been careful not to touch me in such a way and I took advantage of it when you did. It was involuntary, but that does not excuse my actions.” He had not meant to admit so much, but since it seemed his captain already suspected, it was better he hear it from Spock than figure it out himself.

Jim stared at him, slack jawed. “Spock, what…? Are you saying that you… liked it?”

“Yes.” Spock’s heart pounded. The most important thing here was salvaging their friendship and their working relationship, so he focused on that. “I am sorry I did not tell you sooner. Please rest assured however, that I do not expect you to feel the same way. I know humans are only very rarely attracted to Vulcans, and I have no expectation that you would ever feel for me as I do for you. I value our friendship more than anything. Further, I understand your boundary, as you have always been careful not to touch me in such a way. I will be sure to exert more control in the future should our hands ever touch again. Indeed, if you are uncomfortable, I could even wear gloves for the remainder of our mission together to ensure—” 

“Spock! For God’s sake, the only reason I’ve managed to never touch your hands was because I _wanted_ to. I could not have avoided it entirely had I not been so completely aware of what it would mean if I had.”

The only thing that moved in Spock’s body was his heart. It thumped against his lower rib cage, threatening to burst out of his stomach. He could not think of anything to say. What Jim was saying did not make sense.

“You wanted to… kiss me? But why?”

“Awh jesus,” Kirk muttered. He shifted forward, looking up at Spock. “Because I love you, you bastard.” He laughed, dropping his head, rubbing his hands together. “I fucking adore you, Spock. I would—” he swallowed audibly, shook his head, leaned back.

“You would what?” Spock said.

“I would give anything to be with you.” It was barely a whisper.

“Oh.” Spock was struck silent. He didn’t know what to do or say. Jim’s adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed.

“I understand if you don’t feel the same way. We can carry on as we always have. I just couldn’t have you thinking that you took advantage of me.”

Spock remained silent, brain numb. Kirk worried his lip, teeth digging into the soft pink flesh.

“Spock? Could you say something? I’m kind of freaking out.”

That snapped Spock out of his numbness. “I apologize. I…” he looked up into his captain’s eyes. “I do not understand. I did not think you could ever return my affections.”

“ _Spock_ ,” the captain gasped, leaning forward again. “Are you saying you feel the same?”

Spock looked at the man in front of him, who has full of hope and longing and disbelief. How could he ever doubt that he did? “Yes,” Spock said breathlessly.

“Oh, Spock. Oh my god.” Jim shifted forward ungracefully until his knees were touching Spock’s. Little thrills raced through the vulcan at the contact. “Can I…?” Jim stretched out both his hands, palm up, till they were midway between the two men. Spock hesitated. He wanted to kiss this man so badly, but…

“I do not understand, Jim.”

Jim withdrew his hand quickly, trying not to look crestfallen. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that…” Spock paused. There was no easy way to say it. “How could you find me appealing? Physically or even emotionally?” _How could you ever want to be with me?_

“Spock,” Jim said, like he’d heard his actual question loud and clear. First of all, you are ridiculously attractive. Second of all—”

“You find me attractive?”

Kirk looked incredulous. “Uh. Yes? Did me asking to kiss you not indicate that to you?”

Spock blushed and looked down to Kirk’s chest.

“No?” Kirk asked, a teasing note in his voice. “How about all the times you’ve caught me gazing at you with complete, stupid adoration or lust in my eyes? All the times I can’t rip my eyes away from your face, your body, even when I know you’ll catch me staring, because you are just so goddamn irresistible?”

Spock kept his eyes downcast as he swallowed. He replayed all the moments he had caught the captain looking at him. There were many—too many to remember. Spock had often thought there was something _more_ behind those long, burning gazes, but he could not discern what. Now… he found himself feeling quite gratified that Jim liked looking at him so much. “I too find you extremely pleasing to look at, Jim.” He cringed at how foolish and inadequate that sounded, but when he chanced a glance up at Jim, the man’s face had a light blush.

“Thanks,” he said, slightly sheepishly, and Spock had to resist the smile that came to him as he realized he had the power to make the man before him blush. “As to being attracted to you as a person…Spock, there is no one I would rather spend time with than you. You make me feel seen and understood. You make me laugh. You make me see things from new perspectives. You make me… feel loved.”

“I do?”

“Yes, you do. And on top of that, you’re a wonderful being outside of how you make me feel. You’re curious and passionate, gentle and strong at the same time, and you’re just… you’re _you._ And you’re amazing.”

Spock had known that Jim thought highly of him as a friend and officer, but hearing that he could make Jim feel good about himself, that he had that capability… that was a gift he thought no one would ever give him. He’d thought that he would always be alone, especially after T’Pring rejected him. He could never fully satisfy another Vulcan, nor could a Vulcan satisfy him—he was too emotional for that. But he could also not satisfy any human, because no matter how hard he tried, he would not be able to communicate his feelings effectively enough to make the other person feel his love. But here, Kirk was saying that he’d _already_ made him feel loved, without ever explicitly trying to.

“Spock?” Kirk asked. He held out his hands again, his face an open question.

Spock didn’t hesitate. He closed the gap with his own hands, laying them over Jim’s, letting them rest on each other for a moment as both their eyes slid shut at the contact. Spock drew his fingers over the top of Jim’s palms, eliciting a small shudder from the other man.

“Oh. Wow,” Jim breathed. He experimentally curled his fingers underneath Spock’s palms, drawing the same shudder from him. “Do you like that?”

“Very much so,” Spock whispered. Jim continued his explorations for a few moments before he slipped his fingers in-between Spock’s, making him gasp. Their eyes met and suddenly there was too much space between them. Spock wrapped his arms around Jim’s torso, pulling him toward his body as the other man scrambled toward him. Jim settled in his lap, Spock’s back against the wall, hands settled firmly on Jim’s lower back, and for a few moments they just held each other.

Feeling the other man’s body pressed against his was _everything_ , and Spock had to close his eyes against the flood of sensation. His lips parted and his breathing turned ragged as he felt all of the places their bodies connected. Kirk rubbed small circles into his shoulder, patiently giving him time to adjust. Finally, he was able to breathe normally.

“Would you… would you like to kiss in the human way as well?” Spock asked, fluttering his eyes open. He wanted to make sure Jim got pleasure from this experience as well. Jim watched him closely.

“Only if that’s something you’re interested in and comfortable doing. I don’t want you doing anything just because you think you should or feel like you have to.”

“I don’t feel like I have to, but I would be interested in trying it,” Spock said, cheeks heating. It was unusual, speaking his desires aloud like this. But it felt good and safe, albeit vulnerable. 

“Well okay, then. Is it okay if I touch your face?” Spock nodded and Kirk lifted his hands to his cheeks. “You’re so gorgeous,” Kirk breathed. “I didn’t think I would ever get to do this.” Then he leaned in and pressed his lips to his, giving him a soft, slow kiss. Spock’s lips responded automatically, moving against Jim’s like they were made to do so. Jim moaned softly into the kiss, and Spock caressed his back through his ridiculous sweater.

Kirk pulled away but kept his head close. Spock kept his eyes shut as he savored the experience. “That was… much more pleasurable than I anticipated,” he said, opening his eyes.

Kirk grinned. “Oh yeah? Well there’s a lot more where that came from. In fact… would you be up for trying something else?”

Spock nodded. “Of course.”

“Awesome.” Kirk leaned back in, and Spock shut his eyes again, leaning into the kiss. It was much like the last one, and Spock was about to break away to ask how this was different than the first, when he felt Jim’s tongue slide against his bottom lip. He shuddered and gasped, opening his mouth wider against Jim’s. The other man smiled against his lips before sliding his tongue inside Spock’s mouth. He caressed the top of his tongue gently with small strokes, then swirled the tip of his against the tip of Spock’s, making him almost pass out from pleasure. He seemed to relish the difference between their tongues, Spock’s having ridges on the sides and top, slightly more pointed than the average human’s, Jim’s flat and broad. Jim explored the ridges with soft probes and Spock was overcome by sensation, moaning wantonly into Jim’s mouth, hands shaking as the grasped at Jim’s sweater, as the other man drew his tongue over the entirety of Spock’s.

They drew back, panting. Something hungry shown in Kirk’s eye, face flushed as he sought to catch his breath. “God,” he said, dropping his forehead to Spock’s shoulder. “I never thought I’d get to see you like this.”

“Nor I you,” Spock said, stroking the hair at the base of Jim’s skull. “I thought of it often, however.”

“Oh?” Jim sat back, eyebrow raised. Spock nodded. Jim leaned forward to kiss his cheek, then kept his mouth close to his ear. “And what happened in those thoughts?”

Spock shuddered, images coming unbidden to his mind of Jim’s mouth around his fingers, Jim rubbing his cheek against Spock’s inner thigh, Spock’s cock buried deep inside Jim, Jim coming undone under his ministrations. The images that had haunted him for many months took on a whole different meaning when the object of desire was in his lap. “It is… nothing of interest,” he said.

“Mm, I don’t know. Anything that gets you to react like that I’d be pretty interested in knowing.” He cast his eyes downward at the growing bulge in Spock’s pants.

But Spock shook his head again. “I doubt it is anything you would find pleasurable.”

“Why don’t you try me?” When Spock continued to avoid his gaze, Kirk sighed. “Here, how about I tell you something I’ve thought about instead?”

Spock conceded with a small nod. It was impossible to resist how much he wanted to hear what Kirk had imagined the two of them doing.

“Well, I’ve thought about lots of things. But one thing that keeps coming back is those damn ears of yours. I keep thinking what it might be like to caress them with my fingers or suck that adorable tip into my mouth.”

Spock gasped, accidentally thrusting his dick into Kirk’s ass.

“Mm, did you like that sweetheart? Is that something you’d like me to do?”

“Y-yes,” Spock said. “But I don’t understand. W-Why would y-you want to do that? You’d derive no pleasure from it.”

Kirk snorted. “Oh, just like I’m not deriving any pleasure from this?” He shifted his body weight, and for the first time, Spock felt his captain’s firm cock press against his abdomen. His eyes shot up to Kirk’s, who was watching him with darkened eyes and parted lips.

Spock could barely think, let alone put together a coherent sentence. He wanted to take this man apart. He held out his hands, hovering them over Kirk’s temples. “Ashayam. May I?” Kirk nodded.

Spock touched his temples. He had just enough restraint left to not send everything he was feeling, focusing solely on what he had imagined the two of them doing. He felt Kirk draw in a breath. When he released the psychic link and drew back his hands, Kirk caught one of them in his own, and brought it back to his cheek, turning his neck so he could kiss the palm. “Oh, oh, yes. Sweetheart, yes. We can do all of that and more. I would love for you to take me apart in that way.”

“I am afraid I may not be able to this time. The experience of our bodies touching is already overwhelming. I do not think I would be able to maintain control enough to…”

“Shh, shh. There’s plenty of time. You can lean into whatever your experience is right now. We don’t need to make it anything else.”

Spock nodded. “Do you wish to continue, then?”

Kirk grinned. “Oh very much so, yes.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OKay well this isn't the best thing I've ever written and is totally un-betaed, but I wanted to make sure I didn't leave this uncompleted!!

Kirk had not expected this to happen, tonight or ever. Sure, he dreamed about it, and he came into Spock’s room with the intent of asking him about what had happened at the party, but he’d barely let himself think for a second that it was possible Spock felt the same way. Now, as Spock reached for his face again, Kirk let himself sink into the kiss. Spock’s hands were somehow both rough and soft, and Kirk cherished every minute detail of them against his face. Sneakily, as Spock pulled back, he turned his head to kiss Spock’s palm chastely, then darted his tongue out to lick a quick stripe up the center of his palm. Spock shuddered and _fuck yes,_ Kirk wanted to make him do that again.

Even though he’d tried to repress his fantasies, Kirk had imagined all sorts of ways Spock would be in bed. He’d imagined him being fierce and demanding, awkwardly mechanical, or perhaps even completely abstinent. Somehow, Kirk had never thought about how _receptive_ Spock might be, that the reason Vulcans avoided casual physical touch was because it was so powerful to them. Spock was propped against the wall, head resting on it as if he hadn’t the strength to keep it upright anymore. His legs were splayed carelessly, revealing an enticingly long cock. He, Jim Kirk, had brought Spock to this point. The fantasies Spock had shared with Kirk also pointed to him being deliciously dominant in the future, which Kirk looked forward to, but for now, he was happy to bring Spock such immense pleasure.

Shifting to get into a better position, Kirk paused when his thigh hit the edge of Spock’s meditation mat. They were still in Spock’s meditation corner. As hot as it was debauching Spock here, he wondered if continuing might make it hard for Spock to concentrate here in the future. Although that thought elicited a certain amount of excitement, Kirk also knew how important meditation time was. Regretfully, he pulled his fingers off of Spock’s.

“Sweetheart?”

“Enh?” Spock replied.

Jim smiled. “Do you want to maybe… move?”

Spock fluttered open his eyes and god, Kirk was already getting addicted to the way he did that.

“Move? Where?”

“Well. We’re in your meditation space. I don’t want you to be distracted in the future when you meditate here again.”

Spock looked at him for such a long time without speaking that Kirk began to worry he’d said something wrong. “Or not, I mean, I’m just as happy to keep going here, but I thought—”

“No. I would like to move. Thank you.”

Kirk nodded, climbing to his knees. “Okay then. Up we get.” Spock, however, stayed on the floor, just looking up at him. “Spock?”

“I apologize, Jim.” He shook his head, somewhat bashfully. “I am not at my peak logical state. But I must express that I never thought I would have a lover who cared about my cultural practices as much as you do.”

“Oh. Well. You deserve that, no matter who you’re with. Everyone does. And… I want to make sure you feel safe and supported.” Kirk smiled down at Spock, then offered his hand, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. “Ready?”

Spock quirked an eyebrow but placed his hand in Kirk’s. “I have been ready for a long time, ashayam.”

“Oh, well then.” Kirk cleared his throat, blushing.

They moved to the bed, Kirk gently massaging Spock’s hand with his own as they walked. When they reached the bed, Kirk turned around and sat down on the edge of the mattress, holding both of Spock’s hands in his own. Spock’s cheeks were a delicious green, and when Kirk continued massaging his fingers, the blush reached up to the tips of his ears… which Kirk couldn’t wait to get his mouth and/or hands on.

Something like panic bubbled beneath the surface of his happiness. There was so much to talk about after this was over. Were they going to be together, officially? What was dating like for Vulcans? How would they manage Starfleet regulations? But for now… Spock was aroused and pliant in front of him, so open and trusting. And for now, Kirk just wanted to explore that.

He reached up to Spock’s torso, teasing his shirt in his fingers. “Can I take this off?” He asked. Spock nodded. Jim slid the shirt up and over his head, relishing each bit of exposed flesh as it was revealed.

“Spock.” Jim pressed his mouth against Spock’s tummy, pressing small kisses into his skin, then made his way up to his chest. He shifted so that he was sitting on his knees, then brushed his thumb over Spock’s nipple.

“Ah!” Spock cried, throwing his head back. Kirk gaped up at him.

“You’re so fucking sensitive honey, it’s amazing.”

“I see no reason… why I should be compared to… a byproduct of bees…” Spock panted above him. Kirk blinked and then laughed, realizing that Spock was teasing him.

“Oh my god, Spock. Get down here.” Kirk tugged at his hips, and Spock followed obediently, as Kirk scooted back across the mattress to make room. As soon as Spock’s bodyweight was on the bed, Kirk launched himself over him, straddling the other man. As he did, their dicks brushed against each other for the first time, making both men moaned. Kirk took the opportunity to press his mouth into Spock’s, swallowing the tail end of both their moans. Spock’s mouth was incredible. Kirk felt like he could explore it with his tongue for days.

“Okay,” Kirk said pulling back. “How do you want to do this? Are they any big nos or yeses I should know about?”

Spock considered for a moment. “I do not think I currently have any of either. However, I must confess—” he broke off, blushing. Jim leaned up to kiss his cheek.

“What is it?”

“I believe it would be quite pleasurable if you stimulated both my fingers and penis at the same time.”

Kirk grinned. Coming from anyone else that may have sounded awkward, but from Spock? It was downright filthy. “We can definitely make that happen.” Spock looked like he wanted to reply with a witty reprise but couldn’t come up with anything. “You’ll tell me if anything doesn’t feel good or if you want to stop or pause?”

Spock met his eyes steadily. “Of course, Jim.”

Kirk nodded. “Good.” And with that he dipped his head to Spock’s groin. He ghosted over Spock’s erection with hot breath, making the other man once again speechless as he curled and uncurled his hands. Not able to restrain himself a moment longer, Jim slid his cheek up and down Spock’s shaft, delighting in his stuttered breathing. But this wasn’t enough. Kirk had to see what that cock looked like.

He hooked his fingers around Spock’s pants and asked “can I?” to which Spock immediately muttered a breathy “yes.” Jim pulled the pants down, revealing standard issue Starfleet briefs. At the top, the head of Spock’s firm dick peeked out, leaking pre-cum. Kirk wanted to cry with joy at the sight but pulled himself together, slowly pulling down Spock’s underwear.

His dick was long and a bit thin, flushed green, with fleshy ridges on both sides that Kirk couldn’t wait to explore. Jim lowered his head, taking in Spock’s heady scent as he swallowed him.

“J-Jim!” Spock cried out, hips pistoning off the bed, shoving his dick way too far up Kirk’s throat, making him cough and splutter. “Jim! Ashayam, I am so sorry, have I hurt you?” Spock said, sitting up.

Kirk shook his head, trying not to wheeze as he replied, “No, just a bit of a surprise. I’ll be fine. I might uh, just stick with my hand for a bit though.”

Spock looked like was about to say something, but Kirk didn’t want him to feel bad about it at all. He should’ve known that someone as sensitive as Spock would react that way. So he positioned himself over Spock’s body, pushing him back down to the bed.

“It’s okay sweetheart, really.” He kissed Spock as he reached down to reach a hand around his cock, catching all of Spock’s delicious moans and gasps as he moved his hand up and down. Breaking away from the kiss, Jim grabbed Spock’s hand with his left hand, bringing it up to his mouth. He was fairly confident Spock would not shove his hand in his mouth unexpectedly, so he kissed up along the side of his palm before sucking one of his fingers into his mouth. Spock actually _whimpered_.

Kirk picked up the pace on his cock, and swirled his tongue around Spock’s finger, bobbing his head up and down experimentally.

“Oh… Jim,” Spock breathed, bucking his hips into Kirk’s hand. Kirk peppered kisses along Spock’s palm, pausing just long enough to ask “you like this?” Spock responded with a jerky nod, and as Kirk began to rub quicker circles in his palm, he hissed “Yes, _yes._ ”

As Spock’s breath started to hitch, Kirk picked up his pace, sliding his thumb over the head of Spock’s penis. As he did so, a sudden burst of inspiration struck him, and he leaned up and sucked Spock’s ear tip into his mouth.

“James. _James!_ ” Spock cried, his body tensing as his orgasm hit, Jim pulling back from his face to watch it happen. His mouth parted, slanted eyebrows coming together, his chest lifting off the bed as wave after wave of intense pleasure crashed over him. His fingers tightened around Kirk’s and his other arm came to squeeze at Kirk’s back. Kirk stroked and rubbed him through it, taking in the gorgeous sight.

After a few moments, Kirk pulled away, letting Spock catch his breath. He was still achingly hard but felt a deeper kind of satisfaction after watching Spock come. He dropped onto his side by Spock, and tucked himself close to the other man’s body, sighing happily as Spock’s hand came to rest on his upper back. He didn’t expect Spock to initiate anything else tonight, which was fine with him, he could easily get himself off in the shower, or even here in bed if Spock wanted to watch. His dick twitched at that thought. Unfortunately he was positioned close enough to Spock that he also felt it. He shifted onto his side, one eyebrow arched.

Kirk blushed under the appraising gaze, and when Spock’s eyes swept down his still-clothed body to his groin, Kirk said “we don’t need to do anything else tonight, I’m not expecting anything from you. That was just really hot, and so,” he gestured down at his tented pants. He looked back up at Spock with a sheepish kind of smirk. The smirk slid away at the want he saw on Spock’s face.

“Captain. Please stop talking.”

All the blood in Kirk’s body rushed immediately to his dick, Spock’s words leaving him open-mouthed. “I… I…”

“I said,” Spock rolled over til he was on top of him, pinning his body to the mattress. “Stop.”

Kirk gulped, then nodded, looking up at his first officer. Spock gazed at him, taking in his fill. “I have wanted to see you like this for a very long time.”

Kirk tried and failed to suppress a shudder.

“You will tell me if anything I do makes you uncomfortable? If you wish me to stop?”

Kirk nodded, barely able to form words. “Yes.”

“Good. Now,” Spock leaned back til he was straddling Kirk. “As much as I enjoy your sweater, please take it off.” Kirk lifted it off his body awkwardly, then reached for his t-shirt. Spock’s hand stopped it.

“Leave that on.” Kirk released his t-shirt from his grip, confused. Spock gave him a sly smile. “For I can finally do this.” And he took hold of the fabric covering his chest and ripped, exposing Kirk’s nipples. “You always seem to ruin whatever you are wearing, captain. With no regard for what it does to those around you.” Spock leaned closer to Kirk, murmuring in his ear. “Do you have any idea how many times I have wanted to throw you up against a wall, just looking at those tantalizing bits of skin?” He pulled back, gazing again at Kirk. “But finally, finally, there is justice in the world, captain. And I can do this.” He brushed his fingertips over Kirk’s nipple. Kirk barely had time to draw in a breath before Spock’s mouth was on it, tongue darting back and forth. A small moan escaped Kirk’s mouth as he threaded his fingers in Spock’s hair.

Spock smirked as he drew back. “Now that that has been corrected,” he reached out and ripped away the rest of Kirk’s shirt like it was nothing.

“Oh jesus,” Kirk said, dropping his head back to the pillow and throwing an arm over his eyes. “I’m going to come so fucking quickly.”

Spock arched an eyebrow. “I am tempted to not let you. But I believe that kind of play should be negotiated ahead of time.”

Kirk’s breath caught. He’d always wanted to play with orgasm denial and couldn’t wait to try that with Spock. But he was also glad Spock wasn’t trying to push him into things he wasn’t quite ready for yet. He rolled his arm up so Spock could see his whole face. “Thank you.”

“Always, ashayam. Always.” Then Spock slipped his hand down Kirk’s pants to grab his aching erection, and Kirk jerked forward, gripping at Spock’s back.

“Ohhh, Spock. That feels—you feel—so good.”

Using his Vulcan strength, Spock expertly removed Kirk’s pants and underwear, leaving him naked besides the tattered remains of his shirt. Short fast strokes were alternated with slow long strokes til Kirk was panting with desire. “Ohh Spock, Spock. Yes, _yes._ Oh, god. I can’t believe I get to have this. Oh my god.”

Spock paused in his ministrations and Kirk was about to whine in protest before he felt Spock’s breath right by his ear as he began stroking again. “My ashayam. It is I who cannot believe I am allowed to see you this way. To touch you this way. It is an incredible honor.”

Jim tried to scoff, but only a choked sound came out.

“You are a remarkable man, Jim. And I cherish you.” 

Kirk wanted to say something, anything, to let Spock know how much he cherished him as well, how much it meant to hear him say all this, but it was lost as Spock once again shifted his body weight. Suddenly, a wet tight heat enclosed his cock and Jim gasped, lifting his head to look—only to see Spock swallowing him down, eyes fixed on Jim.

“Spock! AAaaah, _aaaah_. _Spock!_ ”

Spock began to bob his head, and then Jim was really lost. All he could say was “yes, _yes_ ” and “PLEASE.” Spock reached his right hand up to finger Jim’s nipple and that was it—Jim barely managed to say “Oh _god,_ I’m gonna, I’m gonna come.” He tried to push Spock away from his groin to avoid shooting into Spock’s mouth, but Spock gripped his hips even harder, keeping him firmly in place. He came into Spock’s mouth with a cry, feeling waves of pleasure shudder through him, toes clenching and fingers fisting into the sheets.

After he came back to himself, he blinked his eyes open. Spock was staring at him with what Jim could only describe as adoration. The answering smile that spread across Jim’s face was impossible to suppress. He couldn’t believe this had all really happened. He pulled himself tight against Spock’s body, relaxing automatically when Spock’s arm wrapped around him. They’d never touched like this but it felt so natural, like a home they’d strayed from but finally found again.

As they lay in each other’s arms, Jim couldn’t stop the question. “How did you learn to suck cock like that?”

Spock raised an eyebrow. “You are not the only one who researched mating habits Jim. Purely for the sake of cultural fluency, of course.”

Kirk grinned against his chest. “Of course.”

Spock shifted a bit, then asked, “I trust you found it agreeable?”

Jim snorted. “Fuck, Spock, I loved it. I have to say I wasn’t expecting it but,” he cleared his throat. “It was a welcome surprise.”

Spock began playing with Jim’s hair. “I am sure it goes without saying, but you were also a very skilled lover. I was… impressed with how well you integrated Vulcan erogenous zones into your lovemaking.”

Kirk smiled. “Like I said. Research.”

He was about to relax into Spock to fall asleep when he felt something underneath him. Pulling it out, he found it was his Christmas sweater. Grinning, he tossed it off the bed, and snuggled closer to Spock. “Happy holidays, Spock.”

Unseen, Spock raised an eyebrow at the ceiling. The last thing Kirk heard before drifting off to sleep was, “Merry Kissmas, captain.”

**Author's Note:**

> More to come in chapter two :)


End file.
